What should i do? im 16, and gay. i am very lonely coz i don't have a bf. i find life so not interesting.?

i am very lonely, but i have a kiss mate, and eveytime i ask him to be my bf, he doesn't answer me.He is straight and we only kiss after a a month or so.i really feel unhappy, bcoz this is distracting me. i have friends(girls) they always talk about heir bf's, but i don't coz i have never had a bf before.my grades have also been poor lately bcoz of this.the worst part is i cant tell my parents why coz they don't even know that i am ! is suicide the only answer to all this?